Monthly Archives: April 2012


Motte and Bailey are on a brief hiatus while the scriptwriter works on her thesis and prevaricates between eating bacon Frazzles and prawn cocktail Skips. Their adventure will be resolved soon, complete with latent sexual tension and horrific puns. In the meantime, a little light amusement in the form of fashion. All of the pictures in this post are of real garments currently for sale via a well-known online retailer. I won’t say who because I’m kind, and because contrary to the appearance of this terrifying selection, they do sell some Nice Shiny Things. Continue reading


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MOTTE AND BAILEY: part ye thirde

Previously on Motte and Bailey: Baron Camelotto-Rollovyr explains the mysterious death of the castle jester, with limited assistance from Robert de Milton Keynes, inventor of the Lolle-Catte. Motte and Bailey decide to go to the dungeon to examine the body.

Scene 4: The castle dungeon

Quickly! Everybody search this disproportionately small castle for clues!

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MOTTE AND BAILEY: part ye seconde

Previously on Motte and Bailey: The intrepid duo have arrived at Castle Fillion, home of Baron Camelotto-Rollovyr, in connection with a mysterious death.

Scene 2: At the castle gate

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I have given into peer pressure and drafted the pilot episode of my medieval detective show, Motte and Bailey. I expect it to be picked up by a major TV network approximately never. (Cookies for every pun/historical reference you spot).

It is a well-known historical fact that horses were much droopier in ye middle ages.


Sister Bonne Motte: A nun with an eye for crime and no tolerance for jesters. There’s wit underneath the wimple.

Sir Liqueur Bailey: Renegade knight. A bit too fond of mead but handy with a mace. Soft spot for Motte.

Baron Camelotto-Rollovyr: Luxuriantly-moustachio’d local lord and inhabitant of Castle Fillion. Has a gambling problem.

Geoffrey Saucer: Bard and crockery aficionado. Pops up at inappropriate moments to SIIIIING.

Robert de Milton Keynes: Scholar and local abbot. Loves scrolls and also kittens.

Goodwyfe Maud: Housekeeper of Castle Fillion. Generally jolly.

Clegge: Village idiot.

Lady Bechdelle Testte: Ward of the Baron. Attractive, I guess… but in, like, an obvious way. Pssh.

Gruesomely murdered corpse: Was once the castle jester.

Assorted peasants Continue reading


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