adieu tristesse/bonjour tristesse

This is my first proper foray into blogging. I do use Twitter, sporadically, but I worry about turning into the kind of person who lovingly documents every meal, television programme and crowded Tube journey for the delectation of a not-so-fascinated public. I don’t intend for this blog to be like that. Rather, it has several (serious) purposes. But before elaborating upon those (‘What could they possibly be?’ I hear you cry), I should first make the obligatory apologia for having the effrontery to think that my thoughts – MY thoughts – could possibly be worthy of public, online documentation.

I am not by nature a diary-keeper, story-teller, or creator of myths and scenarios. Or rather, I am not by nature a person who writes those things down. I have consistently refused to engage with my own ideas, whether they be terrifying, joyful or merely mediocre, because I very often fear them. The nascent story is rejected, the philosophical enquiry left incomplete, because I fear that trying to turn those ideas into tangible, developed texts will only reveal my own failure and inadequacy. So, unwittingly, I have developed a mind which in one sense works like a palimpsest – a variety of thoughts and musings being constantly written, and written over, leaving only the faintest traces of their existence behind.

Now, though, I feel that there’s an imperative to write. I’m not precisely sure why, but I think it’s a combination of  three things. Firstly, there being simply so much going on mentally that writing some of it down is a necessary outlet. Secondly, following the example of a person – a very talented writer – who has, without realising it, shown me that constant writing is not only enjoyable and productive, but necessary for intellectual development and clarity. Finally, I think I want to prove to myself that writing, in any form other than the academic, is something that I can and should do, without rendering myself a failure.

What am I going to write about? Look at the ‘About’ page if you want full details. In short (for now), it will be an eclectic mix of posts on academia, mental health, feminism and – very occasionally – an attempt at literature in some form.

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